I Love Your Exsitence
by Irunwiththevamps
Summary: Edward's life is the same, day after day. Until he meets Bella Swan and falls in love with her. But he isn't the only one. All Human. Cannon pairings and lots of lemony goodness. all in EPOV Enjoy :
1. Needle in the Camel's Eye

**Disclaimer-I do not own them. (Sniff)**

_.,Smack!_

I hate Mondays, especially Forks Mondays.

I have been living here for the past 3 years and Forks has yet to grab hold of my attention. My parents, bless them, want me to go out and enjoy life, do they mean go and walk around like a fool while it's pouring down rain, I think not. My idea of enjoying this meaningless town is to go to the Hell hole of a high school and then come back home and lock myself in my room.

"Edward Anthony Cullen stop throwing yourself a pity party and get up, I am not going to be late again." How could something so small be so annoying, my sister Alice is just that. _Sigh._

Every morning it's the same routine wake up to alarm, lay in bed till I am forced to get up, take my morning leak, brush my teeth, look at my hair and come to the conclusion that it is so far gone and messy…sometimes I'm afraid to touch it for fear that a raccoon will pop out, and then I drive my siblings to school.

Wow. my life is boring.

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So here I am now sitting in my first period, Advanced History.

I sit in the back and just sketch and let my mind wonder, the teacher never calls on me.

One time I decided to have a little fun and raise my hand to correct the _oh so smart_ teacher of mine. _Hah fun._

_Flashback:_

_In May 1959, the British scientist and novelist C P Snow delivered his influential Rede Lecture on 'The Two Cultures'. Its central argument was that a breakdown of communication between the two cultures of modern society - the sciences and the literary - was holding back our ability to tackle the world's problems. The term 'two cultures' persists as shorthand for the notion that there is a damaging rift between science and other types of knowledge._

_Fifty five years on, the Royal Society is hosting a public debate to revisit the two cultures argument and assess its applicability to our situation today. Was the two cultures idea exaggerated at the time? Is it a damaging simplification? Is it relevant today? Are the most important intellectual endeavours those which lie in between or combine different cultures? The panel representing science, humanities, politics and the arts will discuss these and similar questions. Blah blah blah…._

"_Yes, you may use the restroom"_

"_Actually Sir I would like to point out an error that you have made." _

"_You said that it was Fifty five years on, when it is actually Fifty years on."_

"_Don't worry though it was a beginners mistake."_

"_ I will not have my students showing me up, it is Fifty five years on because I am the teacher. And you are the student who is going to the office!"_

_End Flashback._

Sooo..that is way I will never raise my hand again.

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Wow. This day is a drag, I feel like the living dead.

Second period isn't all that bad the teacher doesn't like his job so he just stands up there and talks on his phone. You gotta love Forks high schools educational staff.

He doesn't care that we talk or text, so there is a lot of gossip to entertain me, to a degree.

"Hey Mike have you seen that new girl, man is she Hot, clumsy but Smokin."

"Yeah, Taylor I have and all I have to say is that I am going to ask her on a date, then after the date I am going to fuck her pretty little brains out."

I have come to a conclusion that the male species are in fact pigs.

I bet this new girl is just like every other girl that comes here to our school.

I am not shallow but girls usually fall head over heels for me, many girls just ogle me all day. I really don't like it.

It's always "Omg Edward Cullen he is so hot." Or "Edward has a nice body and gorgeous eyes, I would so do him." Does anybody care about who I really am. Most of these girls are dumb as a doorknob and are just in it for sex. Don't get me wrong I would love to have sex, but I am old fashioned and a gentlemen I want my first time to be with someone who I am in love with, not a slut.

This is way I don't date the girls at Forks high. Sure I find girls attractive but as soon as they open their mouths I lose total interest.

I have yet to find a girl that I can hold a intellectual conversation with, may family is starting to think I am gay…I am far from it.

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Lunch, time for the annoying buzz of human voices, the only good thing is that I get to see my sister Alice and my brother Emmett also Jasper and Rosalie.

"Hey Edward have you seen that new chick wow is she a fine piece of ass." Yep that's Emmett for you.

"No Emmett but I have heard about her and she sounds like every other girl in this student body, oh and you are very lucky that Rose didn't hear you."

As we walked over to the table I see my sister bouncing in her chair while her boyfriend Jasper tries to hold her down.

I just have to smile, but I am still a tad on the worried side. When Alice is all hyper to see me it usually means that she has something really big to share with me.

"Edwardhaveyouheardaboutthenewgirlwowsheissoniceshewouldbeperfectforyou!"

"Alice slow down what are you trying to say all I caught was Edward and then you lost me." I said as I sat down with my tray of terrible food.

"Edward her name is Bella and she is in my English class, she is really nice and she is not like most girls I have talked to. She is very down to earth. I like her I think her and I are going to be best friends!"

I just stared at her she had lost me again…

"Edward just look over at that table."

I followed her finger to the table she was pointing at, were my gaze was cast upon a brown hair girl sitting with Angela.

Angela looked at me and then leaned over and whispered something to this girl, Bella I think her name was, and then the girl turned and looked at me. She made eye contact for just a second. I could have sworn she blushed, but she was to far away to really see. Oh well, I didn't really care but yet I couldn't turn away. Strange.

My trance was broken by a French fry smashing right into the back of my head, I bet in a month I'll find that French fry…yuck, maybe the raccoon will eat it.

"Earth to Eddie mom did teach us that it is rude to stare at people, especially young ladies." I just sneered at him and took a sip of my water.

"Aww our little Eddie might have a little crushie on Bella."

I could kill Emmett right now.

"Emmett I was just looking for a second, and I don't even know her how could I have a crush?"

Then may lovely sister had to put her two cents in…

"Edward come on I saw the way you just looked at her, you looked interested. I think you should talk to her. You'd be surprised she is very smart, just like you. She is very shy but once you get to know her she is very funny, the only downside is that she is very clumsy."

"Alice I wont have anytime to talk to her, and besides like every teenage girl in this school once they talk I lose interest."

Oh no not the Alice puppy dog face pout, my whole family calls it that so don't think im all gay like that for saying it.

"Please Edward…She really is a nice person and she needs a friend."

Don't look at the face, focus on, yes focus on the door.

"PLEEEASSE!" oh no she is kicking it up a notch

Ummm think of the square root of pie 1.7724538……Ugh no use.

"Alright Alice if I run into her I will talk to her, if that will make you a happy camper."

"THANKYOUTHANKYOUEDWARDYOUWONTREGRETTHIS!"

The look on my sisters face was pure happiness.

Little did the pixie know that I will probably never run into Bella, but strangely I wanted to run into her.

"Hey Eddie I really do think that you should get laid, you always look so frustrated."

Has Emmett ever thought that he is the reason for my frustration.

"Emmett first of all please don't call me Eddie, and secondly I will get la- I mean have sex when I find someone that I am in love with."

"That could take years.."

I could just punch that jackass of a brother in the face. Oh thank god for the bell.

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Biology class the one class that I get to sit by myself.

As I sat down and started to open up my text book to whatever page I happen to flip too, I heard the chair next to me get pulled out. I didn't look up it was probably Jessica the annoying slutbag that really wants to get in my pants.

When Jessica or whoever it was didn't get the hint I prepared myself to say something along the lines of I'm not interested. I went to take a deep breathe and I was almost knocked out of my chair by the sweet smell that no perfume could ever conjure up, it smelled like freesias.

Momentarily stunned, why was this smell having this affect on me. As I regained coherency I looked up and once again I was stunned.

This person who had taken a set next to me was none other then the girl from lunch, Bella.

I just stared, she wasn't looking so I like any other guy I let my eyes rake over her body.

Sitting down you could still tell that she had curves in all the right places, her skin also looked so smooth and silky..like cream. _I wanted to touch it so much._

Then I noticed what she was wearing…Tight faded jeans with a white shirt. The light from the window was shining on her and at the right angle I noticed that I could see her bra, It was blue….my favorite color. The color of the bra brought me to attention with her breast, her breasts were perfect. _I wanted to reached down and suckle on them and tease them with my fingers.._

Her body was perfect, I let my eyes roam some more and I think a small mew escaped my lips.

She turned then flicking her hair out of her face, sending a wall of sent my way, strawberries..mmmhmmm.

She looked at me and I looked at her.

She had a heart shaped face, a cute little nose, red pouty lips with the bottom lip a little bigger then the top, and then I looked into her eyes.

I got lost in those eyes…those eyes they were like pools of milk chocolate. It was like I could see into the depths of her soul and get lost in time.

Then she blushed a beautiful shade of red all I could do was smile my all to famous croaked smile, thus causing her to blush crimson red.

Much to my dismay she turned away.

Once the spell of her eyes was broken I was free to look more at her body. I started to think of sexually things that I wanted to do.

I wanted to hear her scream my name as I pumped faster into her racing towards our release. _Then I felt something stir inside of me, no wait that something was stirring in my pants._

I had become aroused and not just a tad were you can just think about Emmett in a Speedo, no this was a full blown erection.

Ugh this is embarrassing I rarely get aroused like this and it was painful. Nobody has ever had this power over me. This Bella she just had to look at me and I was standing at attention waiting and ready. _Oh how I wanted to just take her right there on the table._

Wait I know how to take care of my little crisis, all I have to do is get her to talk to me.

Then my member will deflate, and I can go back to being normal.

Ok but right now I still have this problem, and I will not be a jerk and not look her in the eye when I talk to her…even though it will be useless because all I have to do is hear her say hello.

Ummm…a binder yeah that will work.

Once I was covered I turned to her, she had her face hidden behind a curtain of luscious brown silk she looked so cute when she was being shy. _At that moment I wanted to brush the hair from her face and lift her chin up so I can look into those brown pools…FOCUS EDWARD YOU HAVE A PROBLEM TO TAKE CARE OF._

So I spoke.

"Hello, my name is Edward Cullen." I gave her my genuine smile

She looked up with a surprise written all over her face, her lips formed a little 0 as she blushed. That made little Eddie cheer…did I just name my penis….ugh just talk so I can end this torture.

Then she spoke.

"Hi, I'm Isabella Swan, but you can just call me Bella." She said this with a blush…then she smiled.

I don't know if this is even possible but little Eddie got harder, I actually liked it when she talked….I was in trouble, and harder then ever. _Ouch._

I actually wanted her to talk more…to hold a conversation with me.

"So Bella what brings you to Forks?"

That sounded like an ok question to ask her.

"It's complicated."

Uh oh.

"I think I can keep up." I said this with a smirk

As I said those words she bit her lower lip, I don't think she meant it to look sensual but it did. And me likie. _I wanted to kiss her and suck and nibble on her bottom lip._

"Well my mom and dad are divorced to start off with. I was living with my mom Renee but she is going out with Phil."

"And you don't like this Phil guy?" I was truly intrigued

"Oh Phil's a great guy don't get me wrong, but he plays baseball and that involves a lot of moving around. My mom was torn between staying with me at home or going with Phil. I wanted my mom to be with the guy she loves so I decided to move in with Charlie, my dad. That is what brought me to Forks."

She really looked sad, like she was missing her mother, I felt the urge to pick her up and put her on my lap and just take the sadness away, just cuddling nothing sexual.

"And your not happy?"

She just laughed, her laugh was even beautiful.

"What?" I really really wanted to know what she was laughing about.

"My mom always says I'm an open book and that I am so easy to read."

I just laughed. "Actually I find you very hard to read, I find you very interesting."

She blushed again I didn't know that a human could blush that many shades of red.

Then much to my dismay started the class….Swell.

All through the class I kept catching her looking at me, I didn't let her know that I knew that she was looking at me, I enjoyed it too much to embarrass her and make her stop. But I couldn't help smiling a little, it was a ego boost knowing that she too liked to look at me as much as I liked looking at her.

The bell then rang and I still had my little well big problem…..

So I waited for everyone to leave, thus giving me a great view of Bella's cute little ass.

Oh that just made matters worse downstairs for me, watching it sway side to side like a siren calling my name, and then she tripped over the door stop. I couldn't help but smile.

As I walked out of the now empty class with my binder covering up my problem I realized that I was in no shape to go to my last class.

So I walked out to my car, I really needed little Eddie to calm down.

Ah hah Classical music always soothes me, I pressed play and on came Debussy.

I pushed my chair as far down as recline would let it go and fell asleep. Ms. Cope wouldn't care if I skipped class.

_SLAM,SLAM!_

That woke me up, I shot up faster then humanly possible.

School was over and Alice and Emmett had decided to not wake me the nice way, but instead to scare the shit out of me. All I can say is that I'm glad little Eddie decided to take a nap.

I still had blue balls but I could live with that pain.

"SO Edward I heard that you had a class with a certain someone. Mmhmm?"

"Yes Alice, Bella was in my Biology class." Oh no how does she know this stuff.

"So did you talk to her?" she knew why not save her the breathe and just go out and say it.

"Yes Alice I did talk to her, and I loved talking to her she is very interesting, I think I might like her." I couldn't help but smile. No one. I mean no one has come close to making me feel like this.

"I KNEW IT! AWW EDWARD YOU HAVE TO ASK HER OUT!"

"Calm down Alice I plan to just give me some time."

And then my dear old brother had to butt in….

"YES our little Eddie isn't gay, and he is going to get some!"

"Emmett you are such a horndog, and yes I see myself with Bella but I want to make sure that she likes me too." I said this as a pinched the bridge of my nose.

He just smiled like the big goofball he is. Thank goodness he didn't say anything else.

As we pulled up to our house Emmett got out but Alice didn't.

"I have a good feeling about her Edward, ask her out and don't mess it up."

And with that she left me in my car.

I was going to ask Bella Swan out, She was perfect. She was unique. She would be mine.

With that decision made I walked into my house.

I said goodnight to my parents. They asked about my day and I told them that I would tell them tomorrow because I was really tired and wanted to go to sleep.

I walked up stairs to take my nightly shower.

I showered very quickly thankful that the French fry had indeed fallen out of my hair, then I pulled on a pair of sweat pants.

Sleep didn't come as easy as I wished, I couldn't get her off of my mind.

Bella, what a beautiful name for such a beautiful person…beautiful doesn't come close to describing her ah yes there's the word I'm looking for _exquisite._

My lids started to shut as I lost contact with the real world.

I fell asleep dreaming about Bella in my arms.

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	2. Can't Get My Head Around You

**Thank you so much for the reviews, they made me smile :]**

**Disclaimer: I do not own…I just play with the characters.**

"_Edwaard" Bella moaned into my ear as I sucked on her neck._

_She was clad in her lace blue panties and bra..oh how I love the color blue._

_I bit down on her neck playfully earning a gasp shortly followed by a moan._

_She laced her fingers into my hair and pulled my face back to her swollen lips. I gladly let her, loving how passion filled the kiss was._

_I traced her bottom lip with my tongue and she gladly let me in, our tongues battled for dominance, as I hovered over her tiny sexy frame. _

_I felt her little soft hands run down my chest I loved those tiny hands dancing across my bare chest. Then she came to rest on the hem of my now very tight jeans, she took two tiny fingers and stuck them inside the hem and rubbed them back and forth causing me to shiver and moan into her mouth._

_I broke the kiss so we could both breathe, my lips never left her skin though as I trailed feather light kisses down her neck to her collarbone._

"_ there is a problem." I pulled my lips from her skin and looked into her eyes. I loved it when she called me …_

"_And what may that be ?" I asked my voice husky and thick with lust, then I grounded my erection into her hip earning a moan._

"_Well you are still wearing to many clothes." She whispered into my ear seductively and then she proceeded to bit down on my earlobe, causing me to turn and crash my lips back to hers._

_She moaned and brought her hand down to my jeans and started to fumble with the buttons, she finally got the zipper down and she pushed my jeans off. I helped her finish and pushed then the rest of the way down. I kicked them off knocking over a lamp in my hast. Oops. Oh well._

_I brought my lips back to hers, the kiss screamed sex and I loved it._

_I then brought my arm around her back and began to fumble with her bra. Once unclasped I pulled the little blue lace bra off still not braking the kiss and flung it across my room._

_Then I rolled back on my knees…._

_.beepbeepbeep!Smack!_

You got to be fucking kidding me of all the times that stupid alarm clock has to beep it has to choose now.

I was in the middle of the best dream I had had in a long time, and it had just started…

I rolled onto my back closing my eyes willing the dream to come back and then I realized that I was sporting major morning wood.

I groaned and rolled out of bed rubbing the sleep from my eyes…I needed a cold shower pronto.

After my shower I walked over to my closet, I really wanted to look nice for Bella today. I had picked out two outfits and I couldn't decide witch one to wear. _I felt like such a girl..but a happy girl…_

Then I heard I tiny knock at the door. I turned to see a tiny pixie jumping up and down, Wow. I am not a morning person.

"Hey Alice." I yawned and then turned back to my clothing issue.

"Wow Edward you must really be interested in her, I've never seen you debate between outfits…if you weren't interested in Bella I might think that you are gay." She giggled at the last part.

"Yeah, I don't know why but I really want her to like me.." I just kept on staring at the clothes. Alice is really the only one I tell this stuff too.

"She will, don't worry. "She said this while walking over and sitting on my bed.

"Well now I feel bad telling you this, but Mom and Dad are going to take us on a camping trip for three days since it is so nice out…and they are not taking no for an answer." She sighed placing a tiny hand on my shoulder.

"I'm not mad. I'm kind of relieved I actually really don't think I can talk to Bella right now without saying…or doing something that I will regret. This trip will help me untangle this mess and get my bearings back. I really like Bella but…I just need to think."

"I understand, these feelings are new to you. I know that things will work out, trust me I have like this talent for seeing the future or something along the lines." She said this while staring at my rug.

I just tilted my head to the side and raised my right eyebrow, a slit amused smile playing at my lips.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, do not look at me like I am crazy!"

And before I knew it one of my pillows made contact with my face.

I just laughed as a threw the pillow back at her missing her by an inch. Damn pixie reflexes.

"Hey Alice, could you do me a favor?" I traded my amused face for my serious face.

"It depends…name the favor." Now it was her turn to be amused.

"It's not much to ask, but could you not try to talk about Bella with me on the trip…I want to figure this out on my own." I sighed as I fell back on my bed.

"Sure thing Eddie, now hurry up and get ready." She said this as she patted my shin.

I decided to turn the radio on while I packed my duffle bags.

"_And today is a beautiful day lots of sunshine with a slit chance of rain in the evening."_

"_Now time for some music buy request it is SugarCult-Memory"_

_This may never start.  
We could fall apart.  
And I'd be your memory.  
Lost your sense of fear.  
Feelings insincere.  
Can I be your memory?_

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.  
Just like I imagine.  
I could never feel this way.  
So get back, back, back to the disaster.  
My heart's beating faster.  
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.  
I'll tear us apart.  
Can I be your enemy?  
Losing half a year.  
Waiting for you here  
I'd be your anything.  


I'd would love to be Bella's anything. Or even better, be Bella's everything.

_  
So get back, back, back to where we lasted.  
Just like I imagine.  
I could never feel this way.  
So get back, back, back to the disaster.  
My heart's beating faster.  
Holding on to feel the same._

This may never start.  
Tearing out my heart.  
I'd be your memory.  
Lost your sense of fear.  
(I'd be your memory)  
Feelings disappear.  
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.  
Just like I imagine.  
I could never feel this way.  
So get back, back, back to the disaster.  
My heart's beating faster.  
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.  
We could fall apart  
And I'd be your memory.  
Lost your sense of fear.  
Feelings insincere.  
Can I be your memory?  
Can I be your memory?

Well that song sums up how I am feeling right now. Don't you hate it when you are thinking about something that is so damn confusing and then the DJ decides to play with your mind and puts on a song that is just what you are thinking about. _Grrrr_…

Once I was done putting all of my crap in the trunk, I hurried up and jumped into the car as fast as I could. I was not sitting in the middle. I can take sitting next to Alice yes she bounces around and talks your ear off, but she talks about stuff like shopping and fashion. I can easily block her out giving a slight "mhmm" or a nod of the head to make her believe that I am still coherent. I can not I repeat not stand sitting next to Emmett having to endure teasing, nugies, having him shove my face into his underarms, listening to him talk about sex, and anything else that comes to Emmett's empty skull.

Yippee my dad is driving, you would think that if a man was driving you would get to your destination faster, no my dad drives like my grandma…and she is dead. Now if my mom was driving we would brake the sound barrier.

Alice was in the middle and she was using her I-phone to watch a movie, how ironic the movie she was watching is (Confessions of a Shopaholic.) _Hah_.

Emmett was sound asleep…thank goodness.

I pulled my Ipod out of my pocket and put on my Classical playlist. I turned to look out of my window, looking out but not seeing anything. I couldn't get Bella off of my mind.

I had tossed and turned all night long last night finally at 3 am I feel asleep. Once I did fall into a sorta kinda peaceful slumber dreaming about Bella…my alarm clock brought me back from my dreamland.

The Classical music began to weave its sweet chords around my head willing my eyes to close. My eyes gladly surrendered to the music and my mind spiraled into a much needed slumber. I was out like a light.

I was woken from my sleep by a sharp jab into my ribs. Then I heard a whisper in my ear.

"Edward wake up, you keep making noises." She said as she tried to hold back a giggle.

My eyes shot open and a faint blush caressed my cheeks, I had been dreaming about Bella. We were in a steamy make out session in my shower, and she had decided on giving me a blow job.

"Alice I think you are hearing things." I whispered back putting on a confused face.

"Ummm yeah I think I heard something and it went a little like this" "Fuck Bella your mouth feels so good….faster uhgn don't stop." I don't think I was hearing things." She was holding back a bucket load of laughs.

I just stared at her. I couldn't believe that I talk in my sleep now.

"Don't worry I'm the only one who heard it, it was a whisper. But you were getting louder so I woke you up."

"Couldn't you have woken me up without attempting giving me a broken rib?" I was going to have a bruise.

"Well you wouldn't wake up when I shook your shoulder so I elbowed you." She said this so _matter of fact._

I just laughed and stretched my arms, I was sore I had fallen asleep in a odd position.

"Alright everyone we are hear, Edward and Emmett go and pitch the tents. Alice, Esme, and I will unload the luggage." My dad sounded so excited….I would rather still be asleep in dreamland with Bella.

"Hey Eddie whatca wanna do tomorrow." Emmett asked as he pulled the tent frame together.

_Go home and tell Bella that I am head over heels for her and then take her to my room and make sweet love to her._ "I don't know Em maybe we could go fishing and then while dinner cooks we can play football." I really wanted to just go for a walk right now.

" That sounds great, I bet that I can catch more fish then you and then whoop your ass at football." He smirked at me.

"Sure, sure whatever you say Em."

The sky looked like it wanted to open up and pour but I didn't care I needed a walk.

"Hey mom dad I'm going to go for a walk, don't panic if I'm not back before dinner."

"Alright" they both said at the same time. They were both entertained by a book.

I was very glad that the let me go and didn't fight me with all the worrying crap.

The forest gave off a comfortable atmosphere very good for thinking.

The light shone through the holes in the trees dancing around my feet like a tiny ballerina. The smell was just what the doctor ordered it cleared my mind and helped me dedicate all of my brain to thinking about Bella.

I know one thing that I am positive about I have feelings for Bella Swan.

She is smart, funny, she can hold a conversation with me, shy, clumsy, exquisite, Bella was perfection in my eyes.

All these feelings are new to me, Bella is the only girl that has had these powers over me. She just has to look at me or blush and the monster inside of me screams, wanting to take her right then and there. I didn't want to be that monster I wanted to do good to Bella not ravish her every second I lay eyes on her.

I walked along the path brooding about Bella and what I was going to do.

I had finally made up my mind I would ignore Bella, I wanted these feelings to go away I didn't want to be a monster.

I was scared.

I was so frustrated, I needed a release so I ran. As I was running the heavens opened up and the rain came pouring down.

Then I tripped over a root and my head smashed into a tree. _Shit_

I fell down and my mind went **black.**

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**Sorry this chapter took so long. Let me know what you think, do you want me to continue yes, no, maybe so? **

**Please review :]**


	3. Camisado

**Wow, I really didn't think that anyone would read or like this story…I was wrong! I would really like to thank everyone for reading my story and the reviews, you guys make me smile. :]**

**Know to answer some great questions:**

**Alrighty then, Yes Edward does like Bella, but all these feelings are new to him. No girl has ever had so much power over him. He also wants to do things to Bella that he feels are wrong, he calls his wants the "monster." He's scared, he doesn't want to hurt Bella so he is going to try and make those feelings for her to go away to protect her…..but after a day, Alice is going to talk some sense into him.**

**Also I will gladly put BPOV in, this story is mostly EPOV but we will get to peek into Bella's mind every so often.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own (runs to corner and cries.) **

**BPOV**

If you would of asked me yesterday morning if I hated my High school I would of said "yes" and told you how dreadful it was.

Not today, I was looking forward to today.

If you were to ask why I was looking forward to this very day I would just say two words, Edward Cullen.

Sure I met a few guys yesterday, they all were very welcoming and I see myself becoming friends with them. But nothing more then friends, not one of then gave me that feeling in my stomach, you know the one you get when you look into their eyes and then you want to melt. I did have that feeling yesterday though, but not with any of _those_ guys. The guy that made me have those feelings was none other then Edward himself.

And I loved it.

The first time I saw him was in the cafeteria…

_Flashback:_

"_Hey Bella so how do you like Forks so far?" Angela asked with a shy smile._

"_It's really nice and cozy, it's definitely smaller then my old school but everyone is much nicer here." I smiled and then proceeded to take a bit of my greasy pepperoni pizza._

_We continued to eat in comfortable silence. Angela is in my History class, she is really easy going and kind. I was already starting to like her and I could see us becoming friends. _

"_Bella, I want to ask your opinion on this guy this gut that I like. You see we have been talking through email and he seems really nice. His name is Ben, and just recently his parents decided to move to Forks. I really like him a lot. Can you tell me what you think of him?"_

"_Sure Ang."_

"_Hold on let me get his picture and email that he sent me."_

_As Angela reached around to get her purse that held Ben's picture I couldn't help but think how nice it would be to have someone like that. Someone to be with, but no one here has had that spark._

_Just like that Angela was right at my ear, her expression was a mixture of confusion and excitement._

"_Edward Cullen is staring at you." She stated._

_Who the heck is Edward Cullen._

"_Ang who and where is he?"_

"_Turn around and look over at that table." She did that thing were she moved her eyes in the direction I was to look without turning her head._

"_Alright?" I was bemused, why would any guy want to stare at me. _

_As I twisted around my eyes locked on his right away like they were magnets. He was to far away for me to get a good look at but he was defiantly looking at me. I blushed and turned away._

_I just sat there frozen._

"_I will answer your other question, that is Edward he is a junior like us and he is the stud of the school, every girl wants him. The depressing news is don't waste your time, he doesn't date. People think he is gay but he isn't I have talked to his sister Alice and she just says that he hasn't found that one special girl."_

"_Well I wasn't planning on wasting my time."_

_We continued to talk about random things till it was time for us to part ways and go to our classes._

_End Flashback:_

I knew that Edward and I would never cross paths so I just tried forget about the mystery guy, but I was wrong….we did…and it was astonishing.

I had Biology class next, were a surprise was waiting for me.

The classroom I was in had black shiny desks, red chairs that looked way outdated, the walls were white and covered in pictures, and had many jaded looking students filling it space.

I turned to my balding middle aged teacher and gave him my slip for him to sign, saying that I went to all my appointed classes for that day, like a good girl. Then he thrust a textbook that looked like he had just picked it up from the streets of New York, and pointed to the only seat open.

I looked to were he was sending me to and I was stunned, HE was my lab partner.

HE was Edward Cullen.

I was very thankful that I was able to walk to my set without pulling a Bella and falling flat on my face.

I didn't really look at him, I was afraid to so I just sat down in the terribly uncomfortable chair.

I rested my hand on the side of my head and made a curtain with my hair to hide my obvious state of shock.

I noticed that he didn't even say "Hi" or acknowledge my presence. Oh well.

After about six minutes I heard a sound coming from beside me in his vicinity.

My head reacted before my mind could command it to stop and stay hidden in your little shelter of hair.

I flicked my hair to the side in my bodies haste to find the sound. When I did turn fully around my eyes locked on him.

Edward was a Greek god, Adonis. The first thing that I noticed was his hair, a stunning rare Bronze color. It was a beautiful disaster or hair, locks going ever witch way, a wisp hanging over his right eye. Sex hair. I wanted to reach out and run my finger through it, his hair looked like silk. Next was his skin and facial features, perfect in every way. His skin was pale white, not pasty, but the beautiful type of pale. He had a strong jaw line, straight nose, and plump red lips, _I wanted to reach out and grasp his shirt forcefully pulling him in for a passionate filled kiss_. I forced myself to make eye contact, and when I did I knew I was in deeper trouble.

His eyes were a luscious color of green. Those eyes, it was like I could get lost in them, they were a sea of green.

His eyes were filled with confusion, and I think excitement?

And then I blushed.

And HE smiled a crooked breathtaking smile, my heart spluttered, stopped, then started.

Then after awhile he spoke to me, his voice was as smooth as velvet. We actually talked about intelligent material. But class ended way to prompt.

Edward Cullen was dazzling.

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As my second day went by fast it was already time for Bio. I had skipped class and gone to the library, to nervous to shove food down my throat. I didn't need to feed the butterflies in my tummy.

I was so ecstatic to be seeing Edward that I all but sprinted down the cramped hall.

I pushed open the door and my gaze fell upon the open seat.

I waited thinking that maybe he was a little on the late side. He didn't show.

**EPOV**

_Ugh, my head feels like someone ran over it._

_I could feel the throbbing pulsing through my skull, pushing on my eyeballs._

_I think I'm in Hell, I new I shouldn't of run over Emmett's cat._

_But wait I see light? A bright light._

_Am I in Heaven?_

_No, if I was in Heaven I wouldn't have a damn headache._

_What the heck is that smell._

My eyes fluttered against my freewill.

As soon as I was awake I was able to identify the smell, Smelling Salts.

Wow. I am glad I didn't die.

But my head still hurt like a son of a bitch!

I need Advil.

"Edward?"

"Edward, open your eyes I need to do some tests with you." I heard Charlisle professionally ask me in that doctor tone of his.

I slowly opened my eyes wider

Once I did hade then open, much to my bodies dissent he asked me the first question you ask anyone that has hit their head.

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

His long fingers faded in and out then spun around till I could focus on them.

"Three" I sighed

"Very good, now what is you name, and date today?"

"Edward Anthony Cullen, 5/6/09."

My memory seemed to not be affected, a little fuzzy but ok, and my eye site has come back into focus. But my head still felt like a sledgehammer hit it.

He proceeded to shine a light into my eyes, asking my to follow it, and all that eye exam stuff.

"Alright, you have a slight concussion, all you need is rest and Advil." He smiled, looking very relieved.

He handed me three Advil and poured me a glass of purified water.

I through the pills in my mouth and swallowed. Using the water to chase it down.

"Where is everyone else?" I asked only merely interested.

"They were here earlier, but I told them that I would take care of you and tell them the news. They are out on a hike, because Emmett was bored and he wanted to go and hunt some animals, hoping to bring back some dinner that we can cook." He kept on smiling at me.

"Well I should let you sleep so the Advil will kick in." My father patted me lightly on my right shoulder and got up to leave.

"Hey dad thanks for..ah.. taking care of me." I smiled though it hurt to.

"You don't have to thank me, just get better."

"Oh and Edward?"

"Hmmmm.." I was already feeling my eyes give out.

"You don't have to explain to me why you hit your head or how, but our little pixie wants to know. So get some much needed rest, so she can interrogate you." His voice was full of humor.

"Alright." I yawned.

My father saw that I couldn't even form sentences anymore and bid his ado's and exited my tent.

My last thought was Bella, before I let sleep take me off to dreamland.


	4. All At Once

**Sorry If that last chapter sucked, I was sick :[ Thanks for the reviews!**

**And thank you for the ideas! I promise after June 8****th**** I will be able to get chapters out faster, grrr all this finals crap and homework I have no time to write…..**

**Declaimer: S.M. owns the characters or Twilight, I just play with them.**

**Songs that helped me write this chapter- Creep-by Radiohead, Believe-by The Bravery, Hamburg Song-by Keane, and I'm Not Okay- by My Chemical Romance.**

**Avanzante! (translation- Onward!) Enjoy**

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Monday morning I woke up at 4am, well more like getting out of bed since I didn't sleep at all last night.

My room was still pitch black as I walked to my bathroom, I didn't even bother to turn on my light. I took a chance and did my business in the dark.

I didn't even want to know what I looked like this morning, so I evaded the mirror.

I probably looked like the living dead._ HAH_

Walking back over to my king size bed, I proceeded to plop down on the edge sinking down into the mattress.

My mind was a mess, and not from the concussion.

How the HELL did I trip and slam my head into a tree?!

Me, Edward the track runner ran into a tree. Now that's a good laugh.

I am team captain of the Forks High School Track Team. I have been given the best sprinter and hurdle jumper title……and I run into a tree. How does that happen, I have perfect control over my feet and balance, reflexes like a cat, no a cougar.

I couldn't find the answer.

I held my face in my hands and let out a frustrated growl. Than I pushed myself off of my bed, and started pacing back in forth. I couldn't rap my mind around it.

I paced back and forth across my room, my tempo picking up and slowing down as my brooding continued.

The light bulb above my head clicked on with a light so bight it could blind some poor person that happened to be in the way.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

Then it all came back to me, camping, going for a walk in the woods, thinking about Bella, Deciding that I am a hazard to Bella, making a plan to ignore her, getting frustrated at my decision, running, rain starting, slipping, and then lights out.

Bella.

That's it she was why I ran into a tree! I sighed knowing now why, but that didn't put my mind to rest.

The Effect she has on me! Never before has some girl had this type of control over me!

All I have to do is think about her and I lose all contact with this world I live in.

It's scary and wonderful at the same time.

I feel like I am on cloud nine when I am around Bella, but I also want to do things I never thought I would want to do to a girl.

A battle between myself and a monster that lives within me was playing out.

I wanted Bella in a loving boyfriend girlfriend relationship; the monster wanted her for its own pleasure.

IT WAS MADENING! So I through my pillow, knocking over my lamp earning a loud smash and following that smash glass splinters flying every which way.

I ran my hands through this mess that I call my hair, not even caring if the raccoon bit me. If I got rabies then I wouldn't have to go to school.

That's it I won't go to school, but for how long.

I quickly shot down that idea, and thought of a new one.

I will go to school, I will act normal, and I will not think about Bella, I will pretend like she didn't even come to this school._ How the hell are you going to do that she sits right next to you in Biology and you like her, good luck with that!_

I ignored that little annoying voice inside my head that was yelling at me a waving its hands.

This was a perfect plan, but way did I feel like such a fucking dickhead.

I know why, I acted nice to Bella the first day I met her. I showed interest, and that was very wrong of me.

What if she expects me to talk to her again?.... Oh how I want to talk to her, to show interest, to tell her how I felt about her. How every fiber of my being wants to be with her, that just being away from her makes me depressed, how when I am around her I am on cloud nine, tell her how beautiful she is, her warm smile how it makes me smile involuntarily, how her eyes make it seem like I could get lost in them and how I wouldn't mind getting lost in those gorgeous orbs, how her hair and skin looks like silk perfect in everyway, how her laugh is the most succulent sound I have ever heard.

The monster on the other hand wants to tell her that it wants to take her right there and fuck her senseless.

This is way I must protect Bella.

I sighed and looked out of my window at the sun that had risen…time for school.

This time when I went into my bathroom to brush my teeth I looked into the mirror……wow I looked like _Hell_. My hair was a mess my hair going every witch way but down, I had circles and dark shadows under my eyes, and I had stubble growing on my chin…I didn't feel like shaving.

After I brushed my teeth I went to my wooden dresser to pick out my boxers, socks, and pants. I chose loose fighting jeans. Then I went to my closet to pick out a shirt, I went with a plain black skin tight shirt.

I shoved my feet into my Adidas Superstars and grabbed my keys out of the clay jar on my desks.

I walked into the kitchen to find Emmett shoving a mountain of waffles down his throat, man could he eat.

"Hey Eddie, how was your night?" he managed to say through a mouthful of food.

"Just. Fine." I sneered at him as a picked up a Quaker chocolate chip granola bar.

"OK, ok I just thought that maybe you had a little fun last night, I mean your hair is sex hair, and you have circles under your eyes like you didn't sleep all night, and I heard a crash so I thought you hade slammed her…or him into the wall for a make out session." He said that in one breath and with that being said shoved another _whole_ waffle into his oversized mouth.

"EMMETT WHAT THE FUCK, I DID NOT HAVE A GIRL IN MY BEDROOM I JUST DIDN'T GET ANY SLEEP BECAUSE I STAYED UP THINKING ALL NIGHT!" I was fuming I swear you could see smoke coming out of my ears.

He just stared at me like the big oaf he was, then a big smirk snaked onto his face.

"So Eddie, let me guess…hmmmm I'm guessing you were thinking about Bella Swan." It wasn't a question it was a 'I know exactly what you were doing last night', but I didn't let him know that he was right.

"No. I was thinking about the big track meet coming up." I lied.

"Well I would say you are lying because I heard you moaning Bella's name when you were sleeping off your concussion, so you had to be thinking about her tonight." He chortled while trying to take a sip of Orange juice.

"Fuck off Emmett, tell Alice that she has to drive herself to school today."

And with that I stormed off to my silver Volvo.

I started the engine and listened to its pure, soothing my mind.

As I backed out of the driveway I turned the radio on.

The announcer guy I think his name was 'Big Chuck Johnson' droned on about natural male enhancement.

"_Wow these pills work wonders, they will make you bigger, perform better, and increase pleasure. Just ask Joe here, Joe are you satisfied with the results of 'Direct Erect'? "_

"_Why yes I am Big Chuck Johnson these pills give me and my wife hours of Direct Erect fun!"_

Gag me with a spoon I hated those commercials, I sure didn't need those pills my member works fine_. I can prove it just have Bella stand next to me that will make it stand at attention._

I pressed the seek button on my radio and the _perfect _song came on…yeah right….

When you were here before,  
Couldn't look you in the eye  
You're just like an angel,  
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather  
In a beautiful world  
I wish I was special  
You're so very special

But I'm a creep,  
I'm a weirdo  
What the hell am I doin' here?  
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,  
I wanna have control  
I want a perfect body  
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice  
when I'm not around  
You're so very special  
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep  
I'm a weirdo  
What the hell am I doin' here?  
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again  
She's running out  
She run run run run...  
run... run...

Whatever makes you happy  
Whatever you want  
You're so very special  
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,  
I'm a weirdo  
What the hell am I doin' here?  
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

I don't know why I left that song on but I did…just depressing me even more.

I pulled into my parking spot and waited for my siblings to arrive.

Emmett pulled up in his massive white jeep, before he could even turn the engine off Alice was out of the car faster then well fast.

"Hi Edward, I'm going to go and find Bella I need to ask her a question." With that she skipped off towards the school.

Why does she need to talk to Bella…probably about class or something.

Emmett had left before I could turn on him again. When I looked over at him he had Rose in his arms kissing her with such passion it hurt to look at.

I sighed wishing that could be me with Bella…_How it would feel to have Bella in my arms kissing those soft STOP IT EDWARD YOU ARE PRETENDING THAT SHE ISNT HERE!_

With that being said, well screamed in my head I walked to my first class.

First and second period was the same as always, Girls fawning over me, me ignoring them, falling asleep, waking up, and walking in the hallway like a zombie. _I was so tired._

Third period went by in a flash, and then it was time for lunch..joy.

After getting my poor excuse for food I walked over to our table. I noticed that Alice wasn't sitting with us so I sat down giving Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper a puzzled look.

"Alice is over there sitting with Bella, she just told us that she wants to talk to her about something." Rose didn't even look up from her food.

"Thanks." I said dryly looking over my shoulder at Alice…and Bella.

Alice and Bella were laughing about who knows what; I turned my head and saw Angela walking over to them with a big smile on her face.

I turned away once I noticed that I was staring at Bella a little to long.

Thank goodness no one said anything, but my mind wouldn't calm down.

The bell rang, one more class I can do this…all you have to do is ignore her…and sit next to her.

I dragged my feet walking slowly to Bio dreading this class.

Before I walked into the classroom I debated if I should just skip.

_Now or never, you have to see if you can do this…ignore her that is._

I took a deep breath to calm myself and walked in, I gave myself one look at her _wow she was exquisite. _Then I went into she is not in this class room mode.

I sat down next to her sitting as far away from her a possible.

"Hi" Bella said sweetly to me.

I didn't turn my head to look at her I just nodded, the rest of the class was in silence.

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I rushed out of school after fourth period, wanting to get home as fast as possible.

When I got home I notice Emmett's jeep was already in his spot. _That's odd._

I opened the door and walked into the kitchen were I was stunned.

Alice had invited Bella over…..this was unbelievable I was filled with mixed feelings_._ Bella Swan was in my house.

Wait I have to walk away…just turn around and then "Hey Eddie come say Hi, and stop being rude we have a guest." _If only Alice knew that I wanted to fuck her guest!_

I sighed, I could at least give her a proper Hello since she is a guest in my house.

I walked over to them, Bella was perched on the counter while Alice was sitting on a chair with her legs propped up on the edge of the table.

"Hello Bella, nice to have you as our guest." _I loved saying her name a little to much._

"Hi Edward, and thank you." She blushed a beautiful shade or red. With the combination of her saying my name and the blush that graced her cheeks I had to leave before I jumped her.

As I turned Alice had to open her big mouth and ask me if I wanted to watch a movie, I casually said that I had something else that I would like to finish before I had to go to bed.

Without another word I walked out.

I decided to play my piano that always set my mind at ease.

I let my hands caress the ivory keys thinking of the best song to play. When I couldn't decide I closed my eyes and just started playing. The song came out very dark and depressing, but I liked it so I kept going. I was certainly not in a high spirits music mood.

And Esme seemed to notice as she walked into the room drying her hands with a dishtowel.

"Edward, may I ask why your song is so depressing?" Her motherly eyes full of concern.

"Nothing, I don't know, I guess.." My voice gave her the answer she was looking for.

"Is it about Bella?" How does she know this stuff. I guess it's a mother thing.

"Yes, not really, yeah, kind of…I really don't want to talk about it, please." I hung my head looking at my hands.

"Alright sweetie, I'm here if you need to talk about it remember that." I nodded and gave her a quick hug.

"I think I am going to call it a night." I yawned as I said the last word.

"Alright Edward, goodnight." She kissed my cheek and gave me one last hug.

"Night mom, love you."

"I love you too my son, I know you will do the right thing."

I walked over to the piano and pulled the key cover down and closed the body up.

Before I could walk up the stairs my stomach protested, IT demanded food. I made my way over to the freezer and got out a Pepperoni Hot Pocket. After waiting two minutes for it to cook I grabbed a glass of water and my food and headed up to my room.

Curiosity got the best of me and I sneaked up to the movie room.

They were watching Romeo and Juliet on the big screen. My eyes went right to Bella, she was laying on the floor with a pillow under her chin. The light from the screen casted a faint glow on her face, and from the angle I was standing at I could tell that she had silent tears running down her face._ I wanted to hold her and wipe those tears away._ With that I looked up and saw the scene, it was the end when they both died. I leaned against the wall and watched the rest of the movie eating my dinner.

**ROMEO**  
In faith, I will. Let me peruse this face.  
Mercutio's kinsman, noble County Paris!  
What said my man, when my betossed soul  
Did not attend him as we rode? I think  
He told me Paris should have married Juliet:  
Said he not so? or did I dream it so?  
Or am I mad, hearing him talk of Juliet,  
To think it was so? O, give me thy hand,  
One writ with me in sour misfortune's book!  
I'll bury thee in a triumphant grave;  
A grave? O no! a lantern, slaughter'd youth,  
For here lies Juliet, and her beauty makes  
This vault a feasting presence full of light.  
Death, lie thou there, by a dead man interr'd.

[_Laying PARIS in the tomb._]

How oft when men are at the point of death  
Have they been merry! which their keepers call  
A lightning before death: O, how may I  
Call this a lightning? O my love! my wife!  
Death, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath,  
Hath had no power yet upon thy beauty:  
Thou art not conquer'd; beauty's ensign yet  
Is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks,  
And death's pale flag is not advanced there.  
Tybalt, liest thou there in thy bloody sheet?  
O, what more favor can I do to thee,  
Than with that hand that cut thy youth in twain  
To sunder his that was thine enemy?  
Forgive me, cousin! Ah, dear Juliet,  
Why art thou yet so fair? shall I believe  
That unsubstantial death is amorous,  
And that the lean abhorred monster keeps  
Thee here in dark to be his paramour?  
For fear of that, I still will stay with thee;  
And never from this palace of dim night  
Depart again. Here, here will I remain  
With worms that are thy chamber-maids; O, here  
Will I set up my everlasting rest,  
And shake the yoke of inauspicious stars  
From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last!  
Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O you  
The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss  
A dateless bargain to engrossing death!

[_Kisses Juliet. Takes out the cup of poison._]

Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide!  
Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on  
The dashing rocks thy sea-sick weary bark!  
Here's to my love!

[_Drinks._]  
O true apothecary!  
Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.

[_Dies._]

The rest of the movie played on I was half watching the movie but mostly my eyes were trained on Bella.

**PRINCE**  
A glooming peace this morning with it brings;  
The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head  
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;  
Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:  
For never was a story of more woe  
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

THE END

With one last look at Bella I disappeared up to my room before anyone could notice me.

I closed my door as quietly as I could.

I was to tired to think so I striped down to my boxers and walked over to turn the lights out.

It felt so good to lie down and right when my head hit the pillows I fell asleep.

I may not have been able to think, but I could dream.

All my dreams had Bella in them.

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**Review and tell me watcha think. I love reading the reviews and I am very sorry if I don't reply to them…I am very busy. Once again sorry this chapter took so long. **

**Enjoy!**


	5. High Time

**I am very sorry about not updating in awhile, finals in school guh. Anywho thank you for the reviews, but please please please give me more- reviews are what make me want to write faster and better chapters. So it's a basic math problem you+reviews=faster chapters.**

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_I watched myself walk up to a casket; I was dressed in old century clothes. I saw my face crumple into pain and distress. I just stood in confusion watching old century Edward fall to his knees saying words that my ears could not heed. My mood became distraught as the old century self pulled out a vile said a few words and then downed the whole bottle. Minutes later I watched myself depart this life. I clutched at my heart waiting for death to take me as well but my heart was beating strong. I stared wondering who in that casket brought the old Edward self to parish from the earth. Then movement caught my eye, a striking young lady crawled out of the casket that she was just laying in dead a minute ago. That face pale and beautiful, so fragile, so familiar. It was Bella, but only dressed in old fashioned attire. She saw me laying motionless on the ground and fell to her knees crying, for me? Then it happened all to fast; Bella kissed me gently on my frozen lips, then she pulled out a dagger. I freaked and ran at her only to collide with a clear wall. I was screaming at her to put the knife down and that I am alive and right here. I looked at her while pounding my fists on the clear prison; she raised the knife above her head while looking at my old century self. I could barley see her mouth move but she said that she loved me. With one swift stab…_

I awoke with a start, shooting straight up into a sitting position screaming "Nooo!"

My legs were tangled in my silk sheets, sweat was all over my body, my head and heart were pounding, and I was gasping for air.

I was a mess.

After I caught my breath and convinced myself that I was indeed still kicking, I turned to the clock seeing that it was 7:30 in the morning.

I groaned knowing that I will never fall back asleep.

School was out and I was free, free from the teachers, free from the annoying student body, free to be me.

I had successfully managed to keep Bella safe from me. It killed me but had to be done. I avoided her in the hallways, talked to her politely in a lab partner way, and I was even polite to her when she came over to hang with Alice.

What she and the others didn't know was that I couldn't keep my hands off of her in my daydreams and dreams.

I have masturbated many times to wild fantasies in my shower, I have smiled randomly during daydreams, I have cried after waking to a nightmare, and I have even woken up to find that I had had a wet dream. All of my dreams were about Bella.

Then I remembered that I had to go play for the whole school at a local pub today.

Every year at the start of summer they have a mike night, anyone could play.

I was always requested to sing, and I loved every minute of it.

I was brought out of my contemplations by a tiny knock on my door.

"Come in Alice."

I have learned to distinguish my families knocking style. Alice knocks are usually light but rapid, Charlise knocks with a loud tap, Esme knocks with a gentle and polite motherly knock, and then there is my dear old brother Emmett. His knocks consist of you guessed it, none, noda, zilche. He just barges in and if the door is locked well he'll just bust it down.

"Hey Edward, can I talk to you about something?" she asked in a very sisterly tone.

"Sure." I patted the space next to me.

"Please just hear me out, do you promise to listen and wait till the end to react?"

"Yes, I promise."

She looked me straight in the eye "Edward I know how much you like Bella, and I can tell that it scares you. Bella is the first girl that has ever caused these feelings for you. I don't understand why you ignore her; you act like she isn't in your presence when I can clearly tell that you are just dying to kiss her. You are acting totally two-faced here my dear brother, why? Why don't you ask her out? Why don't you share your love with her? I have seen you around girls and you just act like a jerk face, but the first time that you saw Bella you had that spark in your eyes, and you didn't even speak to her yet. Even when you were ignoring her, when she came over you still looked at her with longing and love. I want you to be happy. Tell me why you are depriving yourself that happiness. You can trust me, please tell." Her face had no hint of sarcasm or wanting to make fun of.

So I spilt "I am afraid, very afraid. Not of Bella, but I am afraid that I will hurt her. I have these wants that she brings out, she brings out a monster in me. The monster wants to ravage her and then there is me who wants to treat her right and make love to her. I don't know if I can control my inner demon around her. So my only option is to make myself suffer for those thoughts and keep her safe and happy, away from me." I said all this in a quiet whisper.

Alice was suppressing a smile. "I wish you would have told me all your worries right of the bat. Let me tell you something Edward, did you know that my quiet gentle southerner of a boyfriend had those same wants? All these feelings are normal, its part of being a man. Jazz was afraid to be with me, but he loved me to much to let those feelings scare him away, so we talked about it. I told him that it was alright and that I loved all of him, even the bad parts. We are still together now, 3 years. I am also going to go against girl code knowing all to well that you need to hear this little piece of info. Bella really likes you; she wants to be with you. You on the other hand come across to her as 'I don't find you my type' attitude. She has brooded about all of the things that she could have done to make you go from 'interested to not interested.' Bella is sad and confused, she also finds herself falling for you everyday, and wishing to be the girl that you want. You really have hurt her with being so two faced."

I was shocked she likes me even though I was being and asshole to her "She is the girl that I want Alice, but I don't know how to tell her." I looked at my sister for the answer.

"Edward I want to help you but I can only do so much, and giving you that answer is something I sadly can't do. You need to find the words to tell her, she needs you and you need her, you two are meant for each other. Please don't let her slip away."

I nodded. "An Edward, Bella will be attending the show tonight…maybe a song and a car ride." With that she patted me on the shoulder and walked out of my room.

I was one cloud nine hearing that Bella liked me and that she needed me. I was alleviated of my fear knowing now that it is normal to have these feelings. I was also perplexed, how the hell am I going to show Bella that I like her and that I am sorry and…Gah! I need to clear my head.

So I drove to the only place that I knew would clear my mind and help me think clearer, the horse barn.

Yes our family has a love for horses; we just keep it a hidden hobby.

I drove past the sign that read "Cullen Manor" and pulled into the driveway. As I drove down the winding road shaded by weeping willows casting their protective arms around me, I couldn't help but feel at peace.

I pulled into my parking spot and got out, were I was greeted by a friendly stable hand.

"Hello , it's a pleasure to see you here on this fine morning. Would you like me to groom your steed and have him saddled for you?"

"Hello to you Jenkins and no I will not be needing any help today, but thanks anyways." I smiled and proceeded to walk toward the barn.

"Have a nice ride !"

I walked towards our beautiful barn; the sides were tan with dark wooden doors, and the roofing was rustic red, this was home to me, it held inside its walls my best friend.

The inside was even more magnificent; dark homey wooden walls, a large indoor arena, the stalls were as big as my room, and had Dutch doors attached.

I strolled down the ileway closing my eyes and taking in the smell and sounds of the barn. When I reached the seventeenth stall I stopped and grabbed the halter and lead rope off of the hook and walked outside.

The fields went on and on over rolling hillsides and through streams.

I held my fingers to my mouth and whistled once, twice, and then paused. I was listening for those four beats. **(A.N. a gallop has four beats to it.)** I heard those beats getting louder and louder till I saw my horse coming over the hills, shaking his head with gusto.

He ran right to the gate and did a sliding stop sending bits and pieces of rock and dirt astray.

I laughed and put his halter on leading him into the barn.

My horse's full name was Footloose Dutch, but I just call him Dutch. Dutch is a registered paint mustang stallion, and he is trained in English and Western.

After grooming I saddled him up and went to the indoor arena to warm up.

We walked then did a brisk trot followed by a rocking horse canter.

I turned him out the door and headed towards the field that lead me to my secret spot.

As I got to the field I let Dutch take the wheel and let him Gallop at full speed, I knew that he knew were he was going.

I was riding Western so I could just sit down and relax, Dutch never spooked and I could trust him to take care of me.

I closed my eyes and let the wind rip through my hair, the sun was shining and the sky was blue, at that moment nothing was on my mind. I could hear the steady breathes of Dutch and his hooves beating the earth like it were a drum.

All too soon he came down to a walk because we were there, it was a short ride.

I dismounted and took Dutch's bridle off and loosened his girth.

I had gone to think in my meadow.

And boy was I thinking, how I could do this.

I wanted Bella to be mine for sure now, no protecting her from me just wanting to be with her. Like Alice said it was normal. I needed a way to show her that I was serious, that I was sorry for how I acted.

I sat down in the cool, damp grass and played with a blade of grass.

Looking up at the tall majestic trees it came to me, I would write Bella a song.

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That night the pub was packed with our school, everyone and anyone was present.

As I stood behind the curtains I couldn't help but look through the cracks, my eyes searching for Bella.

"Five minutes Cullen and you are on!" Lindsey shouted from who knows where.

I tuned up my guitar and took a deep breath, tonight was the night.

Eric walked out on stage and announced that it was time and that the first act would be me. The crowd erupted with screams and cheers as I entered.

I sat down on the stole and propped my leg on one of the bars resting my guitar on my knee.

I pulled the microphone up and made it level with my mouth. "Ladies and Gentlemen tonight I would like to dedicate this song to a special girl who I have been very two-faced to. It's very hard to say these words to you so I have put them into a song, I hope you know who your are and that this song is about how I feel about you."

I started to play my guitar and just let go and sang…

**(A.N. listen to the song while you read it's called "High Time" by Steve Wariner)**

_I've been recording I love you  
Then rewinding the tape  
I've been hiding my colors from you  
In a box of paints  
I've been saving my poetry about you  
On a written page  
Now it's time to come on out no I can't wait_

My eyes scanned the crowd and landed on Bella's eyes, she was in the front row standing in-between Alice and Emmett. Bella starred wide eyed at me with her tiny hands covering her mouth, Alice had a big-old smile plastered on her face, and Emmett was had a big smile plastered one his face while he was giving me a thumbs up.

_  
It's high time you knew  
Everything you mean to me  
What I feel for you  
Coming up from underneath soul deep  
I am breaking through this shy little boy  
Inside of me  
It's high time you knew (you saw)  
Everything you mean to me_

I can see you in the morning  
Gentle in my arms  
Or fillin jars with lightning bugs  
Chasing shooting stars  
Clinging to me like a promise  
Around me like a ring  
I can see it so clearly my heart soars and sings

I winked at Bella and smiled as I sang the next line

_  
Through my eyes you'll be so surprised_

It's high time you knew  
Everything you mean to me  
What I feel for you  
Coming up from underneath soul deep  
I am breaking through this shy little boy  
Inside of me  
It's high time you knew (you saw)  
Everything you mean to me

I ended the song and the crowd went wild, but I didn't even give a shit my attention was all on Bella.

I knew that I had to get off of the stage so I peeled my reluctant eyes from Bella's and took a bow then sauntered off of the stage.

I had to stay behind the stage for another hour till the end, one word_ torture._

After the show I got a text from Alice telling me to meet Bella over by the exit, I was scared to death now or never…

I walked over to the exit to find Bella leaning against the wall playing with the strings on her hoodie. The little light above her illuminated her with a soft glow she was stunning.

When she heard me approach her face lit up with the biggest smile.

"Wow Edward that was amazing!" she was bouncing on her toes.

"Thank you, I'm glad that you enjoyed it." I gave her a crooked smile.

"So who was it for?" she said this while looking at her shoes.

I took a deep breath "You. Bella the song was for you."

She blushed and looked up into my eyes "But I thought that you-" I silenced her with my finger.

"Bella I really need to explain myself, but here is not the place."

"Will you come with me to a private place so I can tell you the truth?" She was looking up into my eyes with trust and confusion.

"Yes Edward I will." She bit her lip and blushed, If only she knew what that did to me!

She went to go and tell Alice and get her things, I was going to take her to my meadow.

"So…Where are we going?" she asked her question laced with curiosity.

I smirked "You'll see, how well to you know how to ride a horse?"

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**Please review! **

**What song would you like Edward to sing for you?**


	6. When the stars go blue

**Ok so here it is, hope you like it! Please review. I am still going to write this story but I would really like some reviews. Each time I get one I smile like an idiot, they make me so happy! Oh and by the way all of my chapters are the songs for the chapters; Needle in the Camel's Eye- Brian Eno, (Can't Get My) Head Around You-The Offspring, Camisado- Panic! At The Disco, Chapter 4 has the songs on it, High Time- Steve Wariner. Enjoy!**

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"_So…Where are we going?" she asked her question laced with curiosity._

_I smirked "You'll see, how well to you know how to ride a horse?"_

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We walked out of the building into the humid air of Forks, today is the perfect day to show here…to tell her….to fix my damn mistakes.

When we got to my car I pulled out my keys from my back pocket and pressed the little button to unlock the door. I reached out and opened the passengers' door for her, she looked at the opening into my car and then back up at me. "Edward Cullen knows how to be a gentleman, let me just tell you, you had me fooled." A large smirk came over her face, but her face was still graced with a blush.

I had to stop myself from staring to long, I loved it when she blushed it is so endearing…..and appealing. _Stop!_

"Haha very witty, now go on get in." She stuck out her tongue and slid in.

_Oh What I want to do with that tongue, SHUT UP KEEP IT TOGETHER EDWARD YOU'RE HERE TO WIN HER NOT RAVISH!_

I shut the door and walked briskly around the front and got into the drivers seat. I started the car and drove. The drive was consumed by silence, but it was the good type of silence.

Even though it was the good type of silence my mind was still raving with questions and unknown answers.

What the hell am I going to say, do. Will she listen or will she walk away because of the way I had ignored her. Have I confused her with my actions, here I am actually acknowledging her when a month ago I refused to look at her. What if she doesn't feel the same way…what if she likes someone else. Do I just flat out tell her how I feel or do I mix it in with a random conversation. _IM SCREWED!_

I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, she was perfection, the window was open and her hair was blowing around in her face, she had a lazy smile on her face as she watched the trees go by. I pulled my attention back to the rode, shot were almost there.

Five minutes later I turned off on the driveway that leads to my destination. The barn soon came into view, I resisted the urge to look at her even though I desperately wanted to.

I pulled into my parking space and shut off of the engine, and then I opened my door and got out walking around to her door. I opened her door for her and she proceeded to get out.

She turned to look at the barn with wide eyes, while I stood there looking at her.

"This is beautiful Edward." Her voice was barley audible.

My attention was completely on her she was beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, dazzling, amazing- she is staring at me. Oh crap I was caught ogling her.

"So, I didn't know that you have a barn." She was blushing and looking at the ground-great she is already uncomfortable with me.

"Yep, and you are the only one who knows now. We tend to keep this under raps because we don't want flocks of people to come and visit."

"I promise that I won't tell a soul about this place, not even Charlie." If anyone else would have said 'I promise I wont tell' I would have said yeah right, but hearing it from her-I believe her.

"Thanks, I trust you." I smile sincerely at her causing her to smile a sweet smile back.

"Come on I haven't even gotten to the best part!" I felt like a little kid in show and tell.

"Alright Mr. Cullen lead the way!"

When we got to the door I opened it and bowed when she walked in causing her to giggle. She gasped when she saw the inside of the barn.

"This is amazing, I wouldn't mind being a horse if I got to live here."

I had to laugh at her words she was to cute for her own good.

"Alright follow me, silly girl."

"So do you have a horse?"

"Yes, I have one."

Once we reached the fields she let out a frustrated groan. "Ok there is no way I am going to walk over all of those hills and rocks, I'll end up in the hospital with a cracked skull!"

I just smirked at her and brought my hand up to my mouth and whistled twice and waited.

Dutch came flying over the hill running at full speed and sliding to a stop like he always did at the gate.

"Wow." She stared at Dutch with deer in the head lights look.

I walked into the gate and since I had forgotten the halter I just jumped on his back.

"Bella, can you please open the gate?"

"Isn't he-or-she going to run away?" she had a panicked look on her face.

"He isn't going to run away, _at least I hope not_." This made her eyes get wider.

Now, Dutch would never run away unless I told him to, but she doesn't know that.

"Alright." And with that she opened the gate and stepped to the side.

I made Dutch just stand there "See nothing to worry-" with that I made Dutch bolt.

And boy did she freak, I even made it look like I was in danger by clinging to my horse's neck for dear life.

"Holy shit Edward you are going to get yourself killed!"

Once I got out of her site I brought Dutch down to a brisk trot, I steered him around the barn looking for Bella. When she came into site I asked for a gallop. Bella was walking up the path that she saw me take. I asked Dutch to gallop past her and with a touch of my leg I had Dutch twirl around and stop right in front of her, causing her to scream and cover her eyes.

I held back my laughter, leaning forward and lying on Dutch's neck I placed my head in-between his ears and just stared at her.

"Bella, its ok you can open your eyes now."

She opened her eyes cautiously when she saw me her eyes shot open to there full size.

"Are you-wait on second, you're OK." I could she the gears turning in her head as she pieced together the site before her.

Then it clicked "WHAT THE HELL! YOU HAD CONTROL OVER HIM THE WHOLE TIME! YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!" she was raging.

I hoped off of Dutch and walked over to her "I'm sorry about that, I promise I won't scare you like that again." I really did mean it.

Her face softened and she smiled a small tentative smile "It's ok, I'm also sorry that I yelled at you, I thought that you were going to fall off and get hurt."

"So who is your little friend?" She held out her hand willing Dutch to come over. I hope she wouldn't be upset when Dutch didn't walk to her, he never walks up to strangers or non-strangers, just me.

"This is Dutch Footloose I just call him Dutch, he is a registered paint mustang stallion."

Then it happened, Dutch walked past me and walked right up to her. She held her hand up higher and Dutch pressed his head into her hand, with that her face light up into a smile.

I was speechless, he also only let me touch him and here he is letting Bella touch him.

I watched as Dutch nuzzled her side, another thing he only does to me. I knew from the start that Bella was kind, trustworthy, one of a kind, and special. With horses they can sense when someone is bad or fake. Dutch saw that Bella was a pure and loving soul, and he trusted her.

She looked up at me with a big smile on her face and eyes filled with delight.

I smiled back at her "You know that he never approaches anyone or lets anyone touch him besides me, he really likes you just to let you know."

She blushed and bit her lip "I really like him to just to let you know."

"Hey I'll be right back, Dutch _enaon."_

I walked into the barn and grabbed my guitar and a helmet.

I walked back to find her scratching Dutch's neck while she laughed at the funny face he made when she found the right spot.

"Hey what did you tell Dutch to do before?"

"I told him to stay, I sometimes talk to him in his native tongue which is Lakota."

"You know how to speak Lakota?"

"Ha mi econ."

"What did you just say?"

"Yes I do." She looked impressed and my ego was inflating.

"That's awesome, maybe you could teach me how to speak it one day?"

"I would love to." I was floored she wanted to see me again.

"Alright let's get going, I want to get back before dark."

She spun around confusion filled her face "I thought this was the secret place you wanted to show me?"

"This was the first stop but not the final destination, I want to take you to a place that nobody knows about."

"Alright then onward we better get walking." She looked a little discouraged when she said 'walking'.

"Silly girl, we aren't walking, we are riding."

"There is no way I am getting on a horse, you may not fall off but I most certainly will!" She was terrified and I needed to calm her down before she passed out or something.

I walked up to her and looked her right in the eye "I would never let you fall, I promise you will be safe. Do you trust me?"

She looked at me and then at Dutch "I believe you, and I trust you."

My lips broke out into a grin "Here put this on." I handed her the helmet and she put it on.

I jumped up onto Dutch's back "Bella walk right up to his side." Once she was at his side I tapped Dutch's shoulder with my heel and he lowered his front end down making his back level with Bella's stomach.

"OK hop on Cowgirl!" She was having a little trouble getting on so I helped her by grasping her elbow and pulling her up.

"You might want to hold on for this part."

She gently placed her tiny hands on my shoulders, I was a little disappointed that she didn't rap her arms around my waist. I tapped Dutch's shoulder again and he pushed himself up. This movement made Bella wobble a little so her pressure on my shoulders tensed more. I swung my guitar in front of me because I didn't have to hold any reins.

Dutch walked up to the field at the edge I asked him to stop "Bella are you OK, do you want me to keep going? It's alright we can go-"

"I want to keep going."

"OK I have one more question for you. I have a way we can get there faster, but you have to trust me."

"I trust you." With that I moved her arms from my shoulders and wound them around my waist. I was very pleased that she kept them there but she still kept her body from pressing against my back.

"You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." Her voice was a little shaky.

"Hold on tight, Dutch Let 'er buck!"

Dutch took off at a full blown gallop and I was very pleased that he did because Bella's whole body smashed against my back. She buried her face in my shoulder and her arms held fast to my waist, I was on cloud nine.

All too soon we go to our destination and I brought Dutch to a stop.

Bella didn't notice that we stopped she still had herself buried in my back "Bella we here, you're just fine."

She unwrapped herself but didn't pull away from my body "Let me slid off real quick and I can help you get off."

After sliding off and setting my guitar down, I walked back over to her and held my arms up. She put both of her hands on my forearms and began to lift her leg over his back but she got it caught and fell forward into my arms causing me to fall backwards. She landed right on top of me and began to laugh which made me laugh too.

We both stopped laughing at the same time and locked stares, all traces of humor washed from her face and I felt as if she could see into my soul. She broke her eyes from mine and looked at my lips, every fiber in my body screamed kiss her but before I could react she shook her head and leap up holding out a hand for me.

I grabbed it but carried my own weight, the awkwardness between us was unbearable I had to break it "So how did you like the ride, it wasn't too scary for you was it?" I gave her my best crooked smile.

"IT WAS AWESOME!" She started to bounce up and down while taking the helmet off which made me stare at her chest, me likie. _You pervert stop staring at her chest look at her face man, now!_

I shook my head and laughed "I'm glad you liked it, and I am more then happy to take you on those rides anytime." _Wait did that sound wrong?_

"I would love that, so what is this place anyways?" She was gazing around in awe.

"Well this is my meadow, I always come here alone when I want to think." She turned to me with questioning eyes. "This is very gorgeous by the way, but why did you bring me here if you like to come here alone to think and what not?"

I sat down in the grass and patted the spot next to me she walked over and sat down looking up at the tall trees.

I took a deep breath exhaling out of my nose "I brought you here with me today because I wanted to tell you a few things that you should know."

She looked at me and I almost ran away, but something inside of me made me stay.

"Bella, first off I want to tell you that I am sorry for ignoring you and acting like a jerk."

"Edward it-"

"Please let me finish, please just listen to what I have to say."

She nodded and I looked down at my hands that were resting in my lap.

"Bella I like you a lot, I fell for you the moment I saw you. At first I didn't like this feelings, I have never had these feelings for someone. So I decided that I would have you talk and like every other girl that I talked to I would lose interest in. When you spoke to me that day in Bio I found that I liked it when you talked and I found myself falling for you more. That night I vowed to make you mine but then the more I thought about you the more I started to have animalistic feeling towards you..sexual that is. These feelings disgusted me I didn't want to ravish you, I wanted to do sweeter things. So I did the only thing that I could do to protect you, I ignored you and it killed me everyday to do so. One day Alice walked into my room and we talked, she told me these feelings were normal and that I was being stupid for not asking you out. When I found out that you were coming to the open mic night I decided to write you a song and after that ask you to come with me so that I could tell you this. I'm not afraid of these feelings anymore. I also understand if you want to leave I would probably want to if some guy who had ignored me for a month-"

She pressed her finger to my mouth "Shut up already silly so I can talk." I nodded and she removed her fingers which I immediately missed.

"Edward, I really like you too, I liked you from the first day. I was pissed though that you ignored me. You could have told me about these _feelings _and to tell you the truth it wouldn't have scared me away. I like all of you the good and the bad parts."

I was keyed up, she felt the same way about me.

I looked up at her and smiled like a damn fool, and she returned the smile with just as much enthusiasm.

I reached out and took her hand in mind and when I did a jolt went up my arm. I thought it could have been me imagining things but then I looked up at her and she was staring at our hand with an awestruck expression. Then she looked up at me and blushed.

"Mrs. Swan, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" _Please, please, pleasssse say YES!_

She smiled "Mr. Cullen, I would love to!" then she did something that I wasn't expecting. She leaned over and kissed my cheek. Her lips were so warm and soft, and all too soon she leaned back. She started to laugh and I'm guessing that it was because of my face. I'm guessing if you held up a mirror I would look like a love sick puppy.

"So what other songs can you play on your guitar?"

I was broken out of my bliss to find her staring at my guitar.

"Well, pick a song that you like and I'll tell you if I know it."

"When the stars go blue- by Tim McGraw?" She blushed an exquisite shade of red.

"You bet, I defiantly know that song."

She smiled a sheepish smile "It's one of my favorite songs."

"Would you like me to play that for you?"

"If you want to, you don't have to."

"Bella I would do anything for you." This caused her to blush an even deeper shade of red.

"Thanks."

With that I began to play.**(A,N. When the stars go blue-By: Tim McGraw.)**

Dancin' when the stars go blue  
Dancin' when the evening fell  
Dancin' in your wooden shoes  
In a wedding gown

Dancin' out on 7th street  
Dancin' through the underground  
Dancin' with the marionette  
Are you happy now?

Where do you go when you're lonely  
Where do you go when you're blue  
Where do you go when you're lonely  
I'll follow you  
When the stars go blue  
stars go blue  
stars go blue  
stars go blue

Laughin' with your pretty mouth  
Laughin' with your broken eyes  
Laughin' with your lover's tongue  
In a lullaby

Where do you go when you're lonely  
Where do you go when you're blue  
Where do you go when you're lonely  
I'll follow you  
When the stars go blue  
stars go blue  
stars go blue  
stars go blue

When I was done I looked up at her and she was crying._ Damn it now look what you've done. Idiot._

"Bella, are you OK. I didn't mean to upset you. I-I-"

"Edward you didn't do anything wrong. You sang that song beautifully, these are happy tears."

I put my guitar down and pulled her into a hug, she embraced me back and cuddled into my chest. I buried my nose into her hair taking in a deep breath, her hair smelled like strawberries.

I held her close just savoring the moment. She was the girl for me and at the end of the night I am going to make her my girlfriend. I smiled to myself and kissed her on the top of the head.

I looked over at Dutch to find him grazing peacefully by the brook. I knew we had to go but I sure as hell didn't want to get up.

"Bella we have to get back to the barn."

She groaned "But I don't want to go."

I laughed "Come on, I don't think you would like it very much riding home in the dark."

With that she pushed herself up and I followed her. This time when we walked side by side I held her hand in mine stroking it tenderly with my thumb.

I helped her on and then I jumped on. Right away she wound her arms around my waist and snuggled into my back. Then I got an idea.

"Bella how would you like to be the one who tells Dutch what to do?"

She stiffened at my words.

"I promise nothing will happen, and it's not hard to do at all."

"Okay."

I jumped down and she scooted forward, once she was in place I jumped up behind her.

I pressed myself to her back and reached my hands around to put her arms in the right place.

"Okay, you put your hands on his mane and grab a fist full."

"Wont that hurt him?"

"No you won't hurt him, horses don't have any nerves in their mane."

She nodded and grabbed a hold of his mane.

I wound my arms around her tiny waist and then kissed her on the neck which caused her to shiver. I had to chuckle she was to adorable.

"Now just keep your seat like you did when you were holding onto my waist."

"Alright, now what do I do?"

I knew that if I said Let 'er buck out loud Dutch would take off so I whispered it into her ear.

"Just say Dutch Let 'er buck, and hold on tight and don't worry about steering he knows the way home." Once again she shivered.

She took a deep breath and said those magic words "Dutch Let 'er buck!"

And we were off.

I loved being able to hold her close.

Then she did something that took me by surprise, she let go of Dutch's mane and held her hands out like a plane.

"WHOO HOO THIS IS UNBELEIVABLE!"

She was all giggles and laughs as we raced over the field. I had to join in, I held my arms out and screamed "I'M KING OF THE WORLD!"

Dutch felt our excitement and picked up his speed lunging forward. This caused Bella to shriek and grab hold of his mane, I wound my arms back around her laughing.

When we got back to the barn I put Dutch away and locked up the barn.

We both got into my car and drove away.

"So what time do I have to have you home?"

She turned and smiled at me "I don't have to go home tonight, I forgot to tell you Alice has asked me to sleep over."

"Awesome." I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek which caused her to blush.

"Where would you like to eat tonight my fair lady?"

She giggled at my British impersonation.

"You pick, I only know one place and it is closed now."

"Hymmm, how about Danube Bistro?"

"Sounds good to me."

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**Okay the next chapter will be out before June 25****th****. Tell me what you think.**

**Reviews make me want to get chapters out faster!**

**Irunwiththevamps :]**


	7. Safe Ride

**Sorry about the setback…I was very busy this week. **

**Thank you for the reviews and remember reviewing more motivates me to stay up late a type this story! :] lol**

**Enjoy!**

**Song-Safe Ride by: Cute Is What We Aim For**

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The car ride to the restaurant was mostly filled with comfortable silence, with a few words said. We sat in the car hand in hand as I drove to our destination.

"Would you like to listen to some music?" I asked peeking at her from the corner of my eye.

"Alright, what do you have in your CD player?" She said as she leaned forward and pressed play.

The sounds of Debussy filled the cabin of my car. It was a tad embarrassing, don't most girls like a guys who listen to rap-not classical…

I turned to look at her since I had pulled up to a red light, she had a surprised look on her face.

"You can change it if you like." I was really hopping that she didn't think I was a pansy or something.

"No, I like Claire De Lune." She looked up and smiled a slight blush caressing her cheeks. "It's one of my favorites."

I smiled back at her "Mine too." The light had turned green so I had no choice but to pull my attention from her and put it back on the road.

"I always thought of you as a classical type or guy, buy I am curious do you ever listen to rap or anything else Hip-Hopish?"

"Yes I do, but I don't really like to listen to rap, but since I have an annoying brother who listens to it none stop I now have a uncanny talent of being able to repeat any rap song."

"I don't believe that!" I couldn't really see her but I could almost hear the smirk playing on her face.

"Is that so Ms. Swan, well why don't you try me- pick a song any song, rap that is."

"Alright Mr. Know-It-All Cullen, repeat the lyrics of I Run by Slim Lug."

I cleared my throat, this one was too easy.

I run the streets all nite n day (the hood love thug)  
cuz i still run the streets all nite n day  
yuhh i rep for my city, go hard for the hood still posted on the block, wats good?  
cuz i still run, the streets all nite n day,  
i cant stay away.

--They dont make to many niggas like me  
bonifide hustler certified G  
still got that work if u got the right fiend  
u thinkin shit fake? well nigga come see  
its bigga then the jewels its bigger then the cars  
its bigger then the fact that we fukin rap stars  
the street niggas kno me, these boys got my contacts  
knowin any givin minute i can come bak  
i put a bitch on I-10 n tell her run that  
give her 10 n tell her dont bring nutin bak  
im still n tha hood, i cant leave the streets  
its n my blood im a thug till i be deceased

{HOOK}  
I run the streets all nite n day (the hood love thug)  
cuz i still run the streets all nite n day  
yuhh i rep for my city, go hard for the hood still posted on the block, wats good?  
cuz i still run, the streets all nite n day,  
i cant stay away

--Its hot on my blok sumbody turn the fan on  
ive been paid im jus tryin to turn my mans on  
n get my breads strong, streets miss me wen im gone  
i put on for my city like jeezys song  
please believe me holmes matter fact check my stats  
aint dropped n 3 years but im bak  
where the money at?? thats the first question  
u better pak a strap thats the first lesson  
hard times got the whole united states stressin  
im writin a book, how to survive n a recession  
mr oboma, we so tired of sellin crack  
if u lookin for me ask the streets where im at

{HOOK}  
I run the streets all nite n day (the hood love thug)  
cuz i still run the streets all nite n day  
yuhh i rep for my city, go hard for the hood still posted on the block, wats good?  
cuz i still run, the streets all nite n day,  
i cant stay away.

--Its home sweet home where the D boys roam  
movin stone for stone or zone for zone  
all nite getin it on till 6 in tha morn.  
tha shit im smokin on, stronger then cologne  
u can prlly smell the smoke threw ur headfones  
if u still broke better get ur bread long  
call me on that burner cuz them feds on my fone  
n imma run the streets til im under my headstone (Jea jea)

{HOOK}  
I run the streets all nite n day (the hood love thug)  
cuz i still run the streets all nite n day  
yuhh i rep for my city, go hard for the hood still posted on the block, wats good?  
cuz i still run, the streets all nite n day,  
i cant stay away.

By the time I was done we had pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant.

I turned to her to find her staring back at me slack jawed, I couldn't help but feel a little smug.

"So Ms. Swan what do you think?"

She blinked a few times, I think her brain was still processing it. "That was un-fucking-believable! "I just found a new way to entertain myself."

"Well I'm glad I can amuse you." I laughed as I turned the car off, which caused us to be surrounded by darkness.

This feeling that was brought on by being alone and in the dark with Bella was overpowering. The electricity that flowed between us was intense. When I hold Bella's hand in mine a spark can be felt between us, but now it was a full blown electrical storm.

Every fiber in my body screamed 'Kiss Her' I turned to find that she was looking at me.

I could barley see her face except for a small smile playing on her face, could she feel this electricity too?

I didn't even register what I was doing until I was inches away from her face. I could see her eyes clearer now and they were lidded, as were mine. All of my senses were in overdrive; her smell, her heavy breathing, her breath that blew on my lips was all intensified.

Something in my brain was able to function in the fog of lust causing me to realize that this was the wrong time and place to kiss Bella. I wanted our fist kiss to be special not in the front seat of my car.

With all of my strength I whispered "I think we better go inside." As I pulled away I could see a small pout on her delicious lips, which caused me to chuckle as I pushed open my door.

I hurried around to the passengers' door and pulled it open holding out my hand to help her out.

She placed her small warm hand in mine and instantly I felt like I was home. I squeezed her hand which caused her to smile up and me while she squeezed my hand back, which caused me to smile down at her. I was in heaven at that moment.

We walked hand in hand up the stairs, I had to let her hand go to open the door.

"After you Ms. Swan." She laughed as she walked in because I bowed as she passed through the door. "Why thank you Mr. Cullen."

I held the door open for the older couple who were behind us.

After 'thank you' and 'your welcome' was exchanged I hurried to catch up with Bella and when I did I snatched up her hand again.

We walked up to the hostess who was standing at the setting podium.

I smiled a polite smile "Table for two please." I turned to Bella who had a look of jealousy on her face? "Would you like a table or a booth?" I asked her. "A booth would be fine." She said.

I turned back to look at the hostess "Would it be any trouble if we could have a booth?" I through in my crooked smile.

"I-ugh-right this way.." She picked up two menus and we led us to our booth.

"Your ser-server will be right with you, enjoy your-um-dinner."

I smile politely at her "Thank you." And with that she turned and stumbled away.

After I took my jacket off I turned to look at Bella who was smiling at me.

"What?"

"You really can't see the affect you have on people, can you?"

"Um no, what do you mean?"

She just laughed and shook her head. "Silly Edward, did you not see the way the hostess was fawning over you and undressing you with her eyes?" I shook my head no.

"You practically made her speechless when you smiled at her, you have to be careful with that smile it's like a stun gun." She giggled.

"Do I leave you speechless?" I smiled at her hoping that my eyes were doing that smoldering thing.

"I-uh-no-um-maybe." I had to laugh as she shook her head to clear her mind.

"So why were you glaring at the hostess?"

"Well, I-I was jealous." She wasn't looking at me but at her napkin.

"Why would you have to be jealous?" I asked with concern.

"Well look at her, she's tall, has blonde hair, blue eyes, she everything a guy looks for." She took a deep breath "And then there's me, short, boring brown hair, bland eyes, everything a guy doesn't look for." By the time she was done talking her napkin was in shreds and she still wouldn't look at me.

I reached across the table and put a finger under her chin, raising her head up so I could look in her eyes. "Bella Swan you are the most gorgeous, beautiful, exquisite girl I have ever laid eyes on. Your hair is stunning, your eyes I could get lost in their beauty, you are the perfect size for cuddling, you are everything and more that I look for in a girl. I only have eyes for you."

She was blushing like crazy but she had a glowing smile on her face.

"Really?"

I smiled at her "Really, really, and beside I like brunettes the best." That caused her to giggle.

She turned her head slightly to kiss the pad of my thumb. My smile grew bigger as I rubbed my thumb across her lips. _Oh how I want to kiss this beautiful girl._

Our little moment was broken up by our annoying waitress.

She turned to me completely forgetting about Bella, I didn't even give her a polite smile.

"What can I get for you to drink handsome?" She was sucking on the end of her pen and batting her eyelashes, sick.

I turned to Bella "Bella what would you like to drink?"

Our waitress huffed and turned to Bella "Um, I'll have a Coke?" It was more of a question then an answer.

"And how about you big boy?" I didn't even turn to look at her "I'll have a Coke too." My eyes stayed glued to Bella.

After the waitress left Bella and I started to talk.

Our conversation consisted of small talk and laughs while we waited for our drinks. Once the annoying waitress came back I once again had to ask Bella what see wanted because the waitress was to busy ogling me.

When the food came talking was taken over by chewing and shy glances. Half way through my cell phone rang.

_Shush girl shut your lips,  
Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.  
I said, Shush girl shut your lips,  
Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.  
I said, Shush girl shut your lips,  
Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips._

Bella looked up from her food with a amused look on her face.

"It's Alice she made it her ring tone.." This caused Bella to laugh.

"I'll be right back." Bella nodded as I walked to a quieter place.

I flipped open my phone "Hey Alice, what do you want?" I was a bit annoyed at her seeing as she interrupted my date with Bella.

"Hey Edward, I was just wondering how its going with Bella that's all."

"Everything is going great. Is that all?" I sighed hoping that that's all she had to say.

"No I want-"

"Hey Eddie did you fuck her yet?!" Alice was rudely interrupted by Emmett screaming in the background.

"Alice, tell Emmett to shut the hell up, please."

"Hold on a sec." I heard a loud smack followed by a faint "Ali what was that for!" Followed by another smack "Rose ouch, why is everyone hitting me!"

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Alright I'm back." She sounded very satisfied with herself.

"Alice I didn't tell you to hit him, but thanks anyways."

"Well he deserved it!"

"Yeah he did, I would have much rather it be me smacking him in his thick head." Alice laughed.

"Well I just called to let you know that we are going to be home really late, and that Bella is going to be staying over." She sounded a little upset.

"Alright, and I already knew that she was staying over."

"Don't try anything stupid on her Edward, you hear me?" Her voice was stern so I knew that she meant it.

"I promise my thoughts are only the purist." _Well not really, but I don't plan on acting on them tonight._

"Well I'll let you get back to Bella, talk to you later."

"Bye Alice."

"Bye."

My family was very odd.

After putting my phone back in my pocket and running a hand through my unruly hair did I start to walk back to the table.

**(Song for this part-Green Day, Know Your Enemy)**

When I came around the corner I was brought to a standstill. There sitting in my side of the booth was none other then the Mongrel himself, _Jacob Black._ He was talking to my Bella, and I. Did. Not. Like. It.

I squared my shoulders and waltzed over to the table, my glare fixed on Black.

He looked up at me and as our eyes met his smile turned into a grimace.

"Black, I believe you're in my seat." My voice was cold.

"Cullen, what are you doing here?" He all but spat at me, my grimace turned into a smug smile.

"I am here on a date with Bella, and if you don't mind I would like to continue it with her."

He stood up and turned to Bella his voice soft and kind, it made me want to rip out his throat. "Bells, I'll talk you later." "You have my number right?"

"Yeah Jake, it was nice seeing you again." She was beaming at him. _Why is she fucking beaming at him, Grrr!_

He reached out and took her hand leaning down to place a kiss on it, his lips lingering a little _too long._

He turned to face me towering above me "Cullen." He spat my name like it was a curse word.

I just smirked at him "Mongrel."

With that I walked around him and sat down in my spot.

I sat there with my eyes closed pinching the bridge of my nose trying to calm myself. Who does Black think he is going after _my _Bella-

"You know that wasn't very nice of you." Bella voice was stern but when I looked up at her I could tell that she was holding back a smile.

"I'm sorry.." I really looked down.

She just laughed.

"What?" My eyebrows shot up.

"You're jealous aren't you?" She smirked.

"No."

"Edward, come on."

"OK. I was jealous, very jealous." I looked down at my hands on the table, suddenly two warm hands wrapped around mine. "I think it's cute when you get jealous."

I looked up at her she had a warm smile on her luscious lips and a faint blush on her cheeks, which caused me to produce a warm smile as well.

"Thanks, now why was Black talking to you?" I was dying to know. What if they are past lovers. What if he-

"Don't worry Edward he's only an old friend, nothing to worry about." She squeezed my hands reassuring me.

"So are you ready to leave, or do you want desert?"

"Yeah I'm ready to leave, and Alice and I have a date with two tubes of ice cream." Oh no Alice didn't tell her that she won't be back for a long time.

"Um, Bella?"

"Yes?" she looked at me with confusion.

"Alice and the rest of my family won't be back for a long time, so Alice won't be able to make it to your ice cream date, but-uh- if you don't mind you can spend that ice cream date with me-maybe watch a movie?"

"I would like that very much Edward." She blushed which caused me to smile.

"Sweetness in a cup!" I said as I pulled on my jacket.

"Edward, did you uh just say Sweetness in a cup?" She was giggling uncontrollably once she finished saying that.

"Why yes Bella, I believe I did." I laughed along with her.

"Come on giggly girl, lets go."

I finally was able to pay the bill after I convinced Bella that I was going to pay for the dinner and that she didn't have to pay me back.

During the ride home we had the radio on low while we held each others hand.

"Ohh I love thing song!" Bella all but yelled.

She reached over and turned up the radio "I love, Mother we just can't get enough by New Radicals."

"Same." With that I cranked the song while we both belted out the song laughing at each other.

A few more songs later and we were in front of my house.

I opened the front door of my house for Bella and followed her in.

"So what would you like to do?" I asked her.

She smiled up at me "How about we grab those two tubes of ice cream and play 20 questions?" She bit her lip and looked up at me with hopeful eyes.

"Anything for you, why don't you go and make yourself comfortable on the couch while I go and get the goods."

I watched as she ran off towards the couch.

I walked over and sat down facing Bella. I handed her a spoon and a tube of ice cream.

"Alrighty lets begin." I rubbed my hands together causing her to giggle.

"Edward what is your favorite color?"

"Blue, well dark blue to be exact, yours?"

She swallowed her ice cream "Emerald green." She blushed as she took another bit of ice cream.

"Bella what is your favorite song?"

"The Great Escape by Boys Like Girls, yours?"

"Hmmm I Love Your Existence by Goot."

"Oh Oh I have a good one." She laughed "Do you pour your shampoo in your left or right hand?"

"That is a good one, um left hand, you?"

"I would have to say left too."

The game continued on until we got full, but I still had one more question.

I reached across the couch and cradled her hands "Bella I have one more question to ask you."

She looked into my eyes and nodded, I took a deep breath "Isabella Marie Swan will you be my girlfriend?" I let my eyes drop to my lap. I felt a slender finger lift my chin "Edward Anthony Cullen I would love to be your girlfriend." I smiled the biggest smile I think I ever have.

Our eyes locked as our lips gravitated towards each other. Once our lips connected electricity jolted through my veins, fireworks went off behind my eyes, the heavens opened up, I was in heaven and she was my angel. Her lips were so soft as the moved against mine. I pulled away slowly because I knew that I was going to lose it and I had promised Alice that I would be careful.

She pouted at the lose of contact which caused me to chuckle "Why don't you go and pick out a movie for us to watch." She smiled an adorable smile and walked over to the DVD selection.

"How about Monty Python and the Holy Grail?" she asked.

"Sounds great."

She popped in the DVD in the player while I turned off the lights.

I grabbed a blanket and laid down lifting the blanket signaling for her to join me. She laid down next to me and cuddled into my chest as I draped my arm over her side pulling her closer. She placed her head under my chin on the overstuffed pillow signing in contentment. I kissed her head breathing in her intoxicating fragrance before I too rested my head on the pillow. After we were both comfortable our attention was focused on the movie, well mine was more focused on the goddess before me.

Half way through the movie I heard Bella's breathing settle out, she was sound asleep. I grabbed the box off of the arm of the couch and turned off the movie. Then I pulled the blanket up father and snuggled into her more.

_Bella Swan is my girlfriend!_ I sighed and drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face.

**00000000000000000000000000000000000**

**Sorry this took so long, I didn't know that this week was going to be so freaking busy for me. Please review please please please! **

**Irunwiththevamps**


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